This weekend was rather burdening on my shoulders. I've always lived in such a way where I thought something needed to be done. Moreover, I felt as if the something that needed to be done at that particular moment needed to be done by... well.. me.

I'm a doer and you rarely see me sitting and relaxing, which I find sad, yet satisfying all at the same time. Sleep is for the weak and I refuse to be weak. This weekend, however, found my weakest spot. You know.. that deep dark spot in your heart where, if pushed, will completely incapacitate you? It's that spot that gives you a sense of helplessness and forces you to be wheelchair bound to the plans God has for you. Yeah. That. Then, a blanket of unworthiness covers your entire body, either suffocating you or renewing your Faith in Him.


This weekend, my Dad called me to tell me my Mom took my Grandmother to the Dr. Within 24 hours, she was in ICU w/ a blood transfusion and still no answers. My husband arranged the kids to be picked up by my inlaws because he couldn't get out of work.

I was set to spend most of the day at the hospital. Waiting. Praying. Helping my parents.

Then I get a call from my Father-In-Law that my little guy, my 4-yr-old, had taken a fall and cut his chin open. He would need stitches.

Imagine my fear. Imagine my heart ache after an already emotional day. I raced to pick him up, raced back to the hospital, where my Dad met me in the ER until my husband could get there.

My legs left me.
My strength left me.
A flash back came to me.

The day I brought my daughter in for stitches on her head.

Her screaming to us to make them stop.
Her crying in pain.
Me holding her hands. Crying.
Me praying out loud.
Her squeezing my hand tightly.
Her confusion.
My agony at seeing her in pain.

It was all too much and I felt paralyzed at that very moment, just thinking I'd have to do it again with, my now, 4-yr-old son. It was too much, but it was all compounded by the fact that, lately, I've felt unworthy.

Unworthy of these children.
Unworthy of the job I hold.
Unworthy of my husband.
Unworthy of the friends I have.
Unworthy of the family I have.
Unworthy of my words.
Unworthy of my looks.
Unworthy of being forgiven.
Unworthy of my life.

This Music Monday, I'm listening to Beautiful by Mercy Me. It's reminded me that all my sins are nothing in the shadow of the cross, that God is MADLY in love with me and sees me as Beautiful. Enough. Worthy.

Mercy Me - Beautiful
Album: The Generous Mr. Lovewell



Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see so much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured
You are sacred
You are His

Buy It:

Download the single Beautiful on Amazon for $1.29 or the entire album The Generous Mr. Lovewell for $9.99 on Amazon.



Disclosure: This post not affiliated with Mercy Me or PR agency. Opinions, stated, are always my own and never wavered by products received nor compensated unless, otherwise, stated. In short? If I don't like it, I won't say I do. If a company pays to sponsor a post, I'll be the first to tell ya. I'm an Amazon Affiliated Site. If you purchase anything through Amazon links found here I receive a small (when I say small I mean a VERY small) percentage of that purchase.

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