The last few days, I've been brought back to place I vowed to never return to. The nights I cried myself to sleep. The mornings I drank whiskey to drown out the pain of the day. The times I sought out a good long run in the neighborhood, only to come back home hours later, exhausted, panting, realizing I ran 10 miles in a trance, dehydrated from the tears I had been crying. I've been brought back to the time I was so angry and hurt, that I tore up my whole kitchen by throwing dishes, chairs, anything I could find. I needed to hear things breaking so it'll drown out the sound of my own heart breaking.

I'm back there. Again.


Only THIS time, it's flying through my memory very quickly and only the good memories remain. The time he came home. The time we prayed, on our knees, together... begging for God to save our marriage. The day I realized he's in it for me, just me. The tightness of his embrace. The day I saw him as my husband forever. The day he told me, "You belong to me."

I've been brought back to these memories as I minister and support a dear friend who is going through, exactly, what I have. He's feeling a pain unimaginable and Brian and I are here for him, but it's at this point that we put ourselves back in those shoes of despair.

A friend of mine asked me this morning, "What is your intention in ministering to hurting couples?" Well.. uh... er... I don't have any plans to save their marriage. I don't think I can ever give them the perfect, life altering advice. I don't feel wise. I don't feel like anything I can say or do will be the answer to saving their marriage.

My hope, instead, my "intention", is to direct them to the path that WILL save their marriage. The path that saved MY marriage. My intention is to, not pretend like I know how they feel, but, more so, to tell them about the dark times in my life, my marriage, and tell them what I did to get through it. My intention is to share the hurt, the story of how my marriage was saved, and let them know it can be done.

This Music Monday, I'm listening to Grey Holiday. This song was featured in the movie Fireproof and it's called You Belong To Me. This movie depicts a marriage broken, on the road to divorce. It depicts two separate hurts, but one path they took in the darkest hours of their marriage.

I watched this movie after my husband and I worked through it all. I was given the Love Dare and I read, studied, and "did it" to my husband without him knowing, without having seen this movie. I learned more about myself and ways I love, than I thought possible.

I was at my lowest point.

I was broken.

I was irreparable.

I was scared.

I was confused.

I was angry at everyone and everything.

This sounds crazy, but I'm thankful for the circumstance I was put in. I had fallen and at a point where nothing could help me up. Nothing. It was a point of surrender where I confessed, "God, I can't do this. You're the only One who can save my marriage. You're the only One who has the answers." I put my faith into a position to hear Him whisper You're my daughter. He is my son. You both belong to me. And I love you. I'm all you need.

This Music Monday......... I'm brought back to the place where our transformation began, on the floor in tears, surrounded by broken glass, begging for a drastic change. I'm brought back to the place of life and exploding at the thought of other marriages growing stronger from their pit of despair.



You run, you hide
As tears fall from your eyes
They fall like snow
From a wounded soul
You hold inside
The hurt of great divide
The hole is starting to get old

So come back to the light
To the love, you will find
It’s been here all along
So come back to the start
And you’ll find in your heart
That you always belonged
To me

Just take the rope
I won’t let it go
Give in
We can start again
I’m life, I’m hope
And I’m ready to explode
With how bad I want you back home

So come back to the light
To the love, you will find
It’s been here all along
So come back to the start
And you’ll find in your heart
That you always belonged
To me (x2)

You’re my daughter, you’re my son
You’re the one I long to love
And you’ve heard I chose to die
Do you know you’re the reason why?

So come back to the light
To the love, you will find
It’s been here all along
So come back to the start
And you’ll find in your heart
That you always belonged (x2)
To me(x4)



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