When Family Tragedy Affects Your Online Presence
Friday, February 5, 2010
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But when a family tragedy arises, such as a death in the family, my life stops... both online and off. When I return? It's a jumble of emails, tweets, intant messages, press releases, deadline reminders, and stat reports.
If you've ever experienced a close family tragedy/death/funeral/sickness how do you overcome it once it's over and your healing process begins?
My morning started at 4:30am when my sister called telling me to get dressed and she'd pick me up to head to the hospital. My Grandfather, Pop, would be undergoing emergency surgery due to an Aneurysm. As my sleep filled body walked into the ICU waiting room, I was overcome with fear, sadness, and emotions I can't describe. We waited close to 8 hours in the waiting room, barely moving, barely talking, barely breathing just to hear one word of how he was doing.
When they came in the room to tell us it was Touch & Go, we heard the emergency ringing from the other room. He was coding. Seven times he coded, each time the Doctors reviving him.
In the time we waited, I witnessed arguments, tears, weeping, yelling, panic, but slowly heard the whisper of God through it all. He was telling me, "Now is the time to comfort those around you through prayer. Your Pop is coming to be with me now and this you must accept."
Except I didn't.
I silently argued with Him while I waited. I grew frustrated asking why he wasn't saving him when I knew He could. I prayed for the pain to just go away. I envisioned myself pushing My God in fear as he pulled me closer to his chest. He wouldn't let me push away, but instead held me closer preparing me of a week of funeral planning, mourning, tears, and exhaustion. Flashbacks of my childhood came back to me:
I've accepted Pop is gone. I praise God for his entrance into Heaven, however, I feel a heartbreak that won't go away. Maybe it's because I witnessed my whole family break down in hurt: My brother, whom has never cried in front of me, fall to his knees weeping, My father crying, yet holding onto my Mother as if to take the pain away, My Sister holding on to me because we just felt lost, My younger brother weeping in the hospital hallway crying out, "Take my blood. Take my kidneys."
It's an emotional roller coaster that hasn't ended, a ride which I'm begging to get off of.
So, now the 4 days of visitation is over, the funeral is finished, and I'm forced to move on. Back to an online presence I've worked hard to build, but now seemingly unimportant.
Fellow Bloggers: How do you move on in social media, when it seems so trivial after such a tragedy?
I think we have to just take it day by day sweetie and I know you being the strong woman that you are will be able to, for now though just heal, time is all you can use to heal and prayer. Everyday you will get a little bit stronger and adjust back to "normal" life. I wish I were there to hug you friend.
I don't think it's ever easy. We can't help but miss them. I think it's just time and trust in God. I feel so bad that you're hurting so much. Love you!
The circumstances in our life does not change God's calling on our life. The wounds don't really heal, but time does lessen the sting. Eventually we come to a place where we realize that this painful chapter is part of our life's story and there will be people God assigns to you to pray them through the very circumstance you've just had victory in.
Praying you through this one--
I lost my dad last Easter and my blog helped me work thru the emotional roller coaster of grief. Here's one entry, http://sheilasjumpinoff.blogspot.com/2009/05/researching-and-discussing-grief.html
Also, if you review some of my entries starting in April 2009 (that's when he passed) you will find some of my thinking it thru....let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. I was mad at myself for not "being stronger" and that was silly.
I forgot to say the most important thing: I'm so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your family.
I am so sorry to read about your Grandfather. It is so hard to understand the loss of a loved one, so many memories but it is those memories that heals the pain of the loss. God Bless!
Awwww just take things slowly and do what you are ready to do.
You have to keep in mind all of the good memories and good times that you had together.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to the pain you are going through because I have been there myself. In 2000, my dad died, 2003- my grandma passed away. In December of 2006 my step-father-in-law dies, and then 6 short weeks later at the end of January, my father-in-law died. That is a lot of loss in less than 10 years. That doesn't even include an injury that I had that left me totally disabled and in a wheelchair. I wish I could tell you that the pain goes away and everything is back to "normal" but it doesn't. You learn how to create a new normal and just take each day as it comes. Some days and heck, even some minutes are impoossibly hard to get through, but you do. Somehow. My faith has gotten me through a lot. Without faith I would have been totally lost. Just know that you are not alone. We have never met and I don't have a blog. I just wanted to reach out to let you know I care.
Nancye
nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net
So sorry to hear of your family's loss. Getting through death is a process, a process that requires much prayer. Alow yourself time to grieve, take one day at a time, and share your story. Look to God for guidance and the people you love for support.