Compliments are my Kryptonite
"Your hair is so beautiful! I hate my hair, but yours is gorgeous!"
"SARA! I just had to come over here and play with your hair."
"Sweetie, you are such a beautiful girl."
"Did you know you look so cute sitting over there in the pew?"
This was my day yesterday at Church, from good friends, new friends, and strangers. It's as if SOMEONE told the entire congregation that I was having confidence issues and they needed to lift me up in encouragement.
No, you're not fat.
You're hair isn't frizzy.
You don't look at ALL frazzled.
That's what I'm hearing as I listen to the compliments given to me. It was so comical to me because we were in a rush to get dressed, I got less then 5 hours of sleep, and I had to "hitch" a ride from a family friend because Brian, last minute, had to run over to the office due to a "Break-In" the night before. I. WAS. FRAZZLED.
But, yet, the compliments kept pouring in.
"Turn to someone you don't know and say Hello."
You know that awkward moment some people hate in church? Turn and find someone you don't know and introduce yourself. I, for one, always loved this. I'm the girl who actually GOES to find someone she doesn't know, if my husband isn't blocking my way out. So, as I'm doing just that, an older woman, I barely know, comes to me with another compliment, "My child, you are so gorgeous!"
What did I say?
"Oh, Shut up!"
SHUT UP.
I said "shut up" to a woman 40 years older than me. To begin to describe my embarrassment would only result in me feeling even MORE embarrassed. How could I tell her to shut up?!
There MUST be some sort of conspiracy to make Sara feel better about herself today. There is no other explanation. My mind can't physically wrap itself around the fact that anyone, even multiple people in one day for that matter, might find me to be "gorgeous".
Is it just my church? Is it that they are so welcoming, so loving, and so utterly amazing that I could look like Dog Poop and they'd STILL say I was hotter Penelope Cruz.
Normally, I don't take compliments well, if I think I looked on the nicer side that day or not. Little ole' me on a normal day of craziness & chaos at church doesn't scream beauty queen you know? There is a brain disfunction that makes me want to scream, "NO! I'm not! Quit saying that!"
That sweet Southern saying Bless Your Heart really has underlying intention when said in different situations. THAT is how I take a compliment. I read into it and think What did she REALLY mean? It forces a day of contemplating whether or not everyone felt sorry for me for walking in with the craziness that is Toddlerhood. (My son can't be beat at being the loudest screaming child at drop off).
My question to you: Do you struggle with taking compliments? Does your mind think that the compliment givers have lost their ever-livin mind? If you're good at taking compliments.. How do you do it graciously? Inquiring minds want to know! 
I struggle big time with taking compliments! I guess I just don't always picture myself the way someone sees me and that's hard. I really do try to work on it though. I have gotten better at saying, "thanks" when given a compliment rather than the usual, "yeah, I am so fat" or " oh gees I am way over due for a hair cut."
Love your blog, by the way. :) And you are absolutely beautiful!
Ahh, Sara, you brought back memories this morning. As a teenager I thought people who were giving me a compliment were actually pitying me. I have never recieved compliments well. Someone told me a few years ago that you just need to say "Thank you." It works! Now I sometimes throw in a "You brightened my day" or other phrase. It gets easier with practice.
Take those compliments with pride, Sara. You deserve them.
DJ
Sara,
Sorry, another compliment, but this was a great post! I too struggle with compliments. They make me feel self conscious and I don't know how to respond. I usually go with self-deprecation which makes it seem like I'm fishing for more... just awkward!
I just love the way you write! And yes, I struggle with compliments too. I just don't quite know how to respond with out pointing out something negative about myself. My grandma was standing by me once when someone gave me a compliment. She's one of those graceful ladies that I want to grow up to be like. As I was stammering, she leaned over and whispered, just say "thank you." I've tried. And I think most people are genuine in their compliments. And it really can make your day. So I always try to do the same to others! And by the way... you are gorgeous!
I don't take the well at all--
When I hear that shirt is cute..I think they mean that shirt is cute and would look better on someone else!
When I hear..you have such a sweet smile..I hear .. I should tell her she has s pretty smile because she is so fat and ugly..that is the only nice thing I can think of...
Isn't that HORRIBLE?
I can't believe you said Shut up! LOL! I am sorry for laughing but that tickles me. I would have said it too!!!!
I think I have always struggled with taking compliments. Especially when it comes to my voice. How do you answer a compliment without sounding cocky or vain or egotistical?
My stumbling reply is usually something like, "Oh...well...thank you...but it's not me...it's God...if it weren't for Him..."
The "looks" compliments still tend to baffle me sometimes, but it is hardest to take the compliments from my hubby. I don't know why that is, except that I grew up with the important males in my life calling me fat and ugly!
I guess it takes a lot of grace, and knowing that we were formed in the image of God, and therefore, we MUST be beautiful, no matter how we are feeling that particular day. And I think that when we love the Lord, our inner beauty can sometimes make our outer beauty look so much better.
By the way, I nominate you for a "blog award". I hope you'll visit my blog and check it out:
www.MamaBearGetsChatty.blogspot.com
Take care!
I am bad about accepting them without saying something like "Yeah right, I have spit up on my shirt and haven't had my eyebrows waxed since I was pregnant with my oldest." lol My grandma taught me to just say "THANK YOU!" even if I don't agree with the compliment. It's a nice gesture and the person is being honest. We are just too hard on ourselves.
Sara, I found you from His Grace is Enough. Taking compliments is tough. I just usually gracefully say "thank you." because I'm standing there thinking "you're just being nice to make me feel good!"
Take the compliments while you can and keep passing them around when you're sincere. It will brighten someone's day, I'm sure! :)